*gets 5 notes on a post* this is it this is the big one
When your parents get mad that you cant find something that’s not where it’s supposed to be
P L E A S E
A number one dad, ten out of ten, Dad of the year, gettin laid all year this year, best dad ever, you did it.
is it me or did the dad lose 200 pounds in 5 seconds
I need to be skinnier and happier and nicer and less depressed because I suck
mother: is it a boy or a girl?
doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor